I’m a member of a United Methodist
church that welcomes and affirms me unreservedly. Ironically, the denomination I’m now a part
of hesitantly welcomes me with reservations, conditions and restrictions;
because I’m gay.
Looking to the Book of
Discipline for understanding I only find confusion and inconsistencies.
I read that I am an
individual of sacred worth. Yet my sacred
worth doesn’t allow me the same rights that God gives to my heterosexual
brothers and sisters.
The paragraph on Human Sexuality[1],
states that “…sexuality is God’s good
gift to all persons.” It seems,
though, that only heterosexuals are allowed to take pleasure in this gift from
God; which, to me, is like a parent giving his two children an identical
present, only to take it away from one of them; with the admonishment that the child
doesn’t merit the gift. As that child
might ask; so do I. Why?
The paragraph continues that
“persons may be fully human only when
that gift [of sexuality] is acknowledged and affirmed by themselves, the
church, and society.” Personally, I acknowledge
and affirm my sexuality each day in my committed, monogamous relationship with
my partner; experiencing the fulfillment that comes in loving a person you want
to spend your life with. And in our society,
there is a growing acceptance and support of gay relationships and marriages that
acknowledges and affirms the worth of gay men and women. Sadly, though, this denomination won’t bestow
its affirmation on my relationship, or even publicly acknowledge it; leading me
to believe that, to the United Methodist church, I don’t deserve to be fully
human. And, again, I ask “why”?
The Book of Discipline asserts
that “. . . sexual relations are
affirmed only with the covenant of monogamous, heterosexual marriage.” But our country is changing. We now have States, along with the District of Columbia, that
recognize the covenant[2]
of homosexual marriages. How can our
denomination ignore this fact? This could
be, for United Methodists, a benchmark on whether our church will recognize the
civil, legal rights of marriage for everyone or if it will choose to
discriminate; recognizing the marriages of only some.
Paragraph 162(J)
emphatically promises that “Certain
basic human rights and civil liberties are due all persons. We are committed to
supporting those rights and liberties for all persons, regardless of sexual
orientation.” Sadly, our denomination
is discrediting its own written words.
Opponents of gay marriage
remind us that the United Methodist church cannot “condone the practice of homosexuality” because it is “incompatible with Christian teaching.”
I’d like, if I may, to read two
brief scriptures that I have come across.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11.
“To the married I give this command—not I but the Lord—that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.”[3]
Isn’t that verse, alone,
enough to make our denomination reconsider its permissive stance on
divorce? Shouldn’t divorce also be
considered incompatible with Christian teaching?
1 Timothy 2:11-12.
“Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent.”[4]
Yet we condone the practice
of placing women in leadership roles; particularly as pastors. How does our denomination
choose which verses suggest incompatibility and which ones don’t?
In its defense, our
denomination might suggest it’s a matter of interpretation. Or that there may be a broader meaning to the
Greek words than translated. We are reminded
that we have to take the historic cultural context of when these verses were written
into consideration. The social norms of
life back then are different from those of today. Also, we are more knowledgeable now when it
comes to psychology, theology and science.
And we must remember that one can’t just take scriptures out of context.
I couldn’t agree more. My question is when will our church be
courageous enough to consider applying those same lines of reasoning towards the
verses that speak on homosexuality?
Because of my sexual
orientation my denomination discriminates against me. All the attempts at politically and
religiously correct wordage will not disguise the fact that I am not equal in
our denomination’s eyes. You tell me,
and my gay brothers and sisters, that we are “individuals of sacred worth, created in the image of God.” I tell you; your definition of sacred worth
means nothing to me if I’m not treated as equally worthy as everyone else.